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| We found ourselves back in my apartment. I'm not sure what possessed me to invite her over. I sat down on the couch and let out an exasparated sigh. I didn't need her here. I never should have let her catch me leaving.
She sits down next to me, and takes my hand. She laces her fingers in between mine, but I don't close my hand. I just stare into space, annoyed and wishing she'd leave. She puts her other hand over the button my my jeans. I ask her to stop, and she slips a thumb under my waistband. She climbs over to straddle me, leaving just an inch between our lips. I can't pull back any farther and I scream.
"Why don't you like me?" she shouts.
"I have someone else."
"Oh it's not like you two are dating. You guys are on a break!"
"She's still someone I love."
"Please. You can have me. Now."
"I have someone else."
"But I. Want, You. Now.", she closes the space between our lips and I don't respond. She tries to break through into my mouth and I don't let her.
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| I didn't know what I was doing. She ended up going to college. She called me up and told me to meet up with her.
She had joined a sorority. She led me up some flights of stairs. You had grown so much since I last saw you that I almost didn't recognize you. I wondered if you still kept our promise.
You sat on the bed, and I sat on the floor. You said something. I put my hand on your leg.
"Do you remember?" I ask. "The promise we made?" You look down and say something I can't really make out. I push your chin up so you look at me.
"Kiss me", you whisper, and pull me closer by the arm. Our lips touch, and I'm not sure what to do. Should I break down this barrier, which we've kept up all these years? Is it time? Was this ever meant to happen? You intertwine my fingers in mine. I decide to push forward. You pull away. I don't show surprise. I just look at you. You play with your hair. "Don't do that.. it makes me want to touch you.."
As I sit back down on the ground, you grab my hand and push yourself off the bed, falling on top of me. I can see it in your eyes. You can't take it either. We kissed passionately.
The end. I woke up. The ending's really foggy, and I'm not even sure if I got the order of events correct. All I know is that I woke up all frustrated and confused. | | |
| It's been a while.
She stands looking out from the stone balcony. Her blonde tresses blow in the wind. What is she looking at? What is she thinking?
I approach her. My shoes click hard against the paved stone.
She turns her head slightly, acknowledging my presence. She gets up on the rails of the balcony.
I follow in suit.
She takes my hand.
I look into her eyes.
Her blue eyes flicker with an emotion I cannot comprehend. | | |
| "Sugi, you'll have to work late tonight again. Is that alright?", He says I help him put his coat on. I reach for his hat, but his words register in my head, and I throw it down.
"Why? What work is there to do? You keep me here for late hours nearly every night. You're just going to have sex with Saki again." Up on the 76th floor of this corporate building with the view of all the city lights below, was a moment with too much tension. I push him out of the way, and run past him.
I run to your office. It's just down the hallway. I run inside and close the door behind me. You look up from your computer and see me. You get up and start towards me. My back is to the door, and I'm on the brink of tears. You put one hand on my shoulder, using the other to wipe my tears away. You know exactly what's happened. And you move your face towards mine.
"Saki.. no..", I whisper. But nothing would have stopped you. You weren't going to back down, not now. Your glossy lips touched mine. I heard footsteps starting down the hall. I wouldn't give in at this time. I couldn't. I moved over to the side and backed away from the door as it opened and he came in. He stares at me, Saki stares at him, and I'm just wishing I was off duty, lying on my bed.
"Come, Saki. I there's a limo downstairs waiting for us. Sugi, you take the night off.", and with that Saki left with him, not even glancing back at me once.
I take the next elevator down, not wanting to see Saki with someone like.. him. I get to the garage, and find my sleek, black motorcycle. I have a mimosa at the lobby of my huge apartment building, and slowly make my way to the elevator. I sluggishly poke the button for my floor. I open the door and let it swing back to close itself. I drop my bag, take off my coat and pass out on the bed.
I awake to a phone call. This person's certainly persistent, I had 4 missed calls before this one. "Hullo...", it sounds more like a groggy moan than anything.
There's a laugh on the other line. I'd recognize it anywhere. It's Saki. "You have to stop drinking before you go to sleep! Meet me at the square today at noon, kay?" Click. And it goes like that. There was a man's voice in the background. I sounded like him. He has no idea who Saki is to me. Or maybe he does. He's got some nerve.
I look to the clock and realize it's 11AM. Shit. So rush through brushing my teeth, taking a shower, finding an outfit and putting on some makeup before running through the garage looking for my motorcycle and eluding the cops for breaking the speed limit just to meet Saki on time.
She's at the square, in a black trench coat, her wavy hair tied up neatly. He's with her. He gives me a quetioning look. His hand on Saki's waist. Saki looks over with her glowing, honey coloured eyes.
She walks away from him, away from his arm around her waist. She comes over, gives me a kiss and holds my hand. She looks back at him defiantly and pulls me to the right down a street.
"Saki? Is everything okay?", She seems focused on walking straight ahead.
"How would you like come over to my place tonight?"
"..." My eyes widen, and I stop. She turs my body to face her.
"Is that alright?" I start walking again.
"Do you want.. my body?" I grip the cellphone in my coat pocket.
"..yes." I try to hide a smile.
"..."
"Why are you smiling?" That was a bad job..
"It just.. I'm not useful anymore." We reach the corner of the block and you kiss me again.
"Here, buy a new coat from this store and meet me in 30 minutes."
[This is where things start to get fscked up.]It's a small botique store. It certainly looked larger from the outside than the inside. The first floor was full of bridal things. Wedding dresses, tuxedos and boquets. I ascend the spiral staircase and ask if they have any coats in stock. The clerk tells me to wait, and I follow her to a corner of the store. She hands me a Gundam Model box. It's on sale from $80 to $20. I tell her it's not what I was looking for and she shows me a few blouses. I ask her again if there are any coats in stock. She tells me that there are no coats made for women in the store. I point to a coat at the far side of the room and ask her about it. She says it's the mens line and I cannot buy it.
I leave the store empty handed and start towards my motorcycle. | | |
| And suddenly nothing makes sense anymore. You don't know the answer. You look up and down the pages, and all throughout the books, but you'll never find it. You'll never understand what goes on inside. You'll never know what makes people tick. You'll never know how I feel.. deep inside my heart. | | |
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